The Songs We Love to Hate

It’s time for one of these posts. It happens to be that when you are at a bar, with some dude playing CD’s (not even a respectable jukebox mind you) that the songs are gonna be a bit awkward. They might play some pop, some reggae, throw some country in there, maybe a little rap, some Beastie Boys, it is gonna be all over the place like a bad kisser. So here it is the (non) definitive list of Songs-I-should-not-know-in-a-bar-but-sing-at-the-top-of-my-lungs-anyways
-cause-there-are-ladies-around. (feel free to add your own in the comments)

1. Anything by Britney, Christina, Ashley Simpson (eh, or you could lip sing like she does…), if Ricky Martin comes on, just go man, the night is over.
2. Now, some Madonna songs are acceptable, I was informed tonight that ‘like a prayer’ is ok for a guy to know, but if you are singing along to material girl, fuck dude, pop your collar and raise your cosmo-apple-polin-tini.
3. Backstreet Boys probably were covered in the first post, but if you are shouting out “as long as you love me” (and know the dance steps … I am so ashamed of myself right now) then you might as well admit that you are never going to be happy until Wham! gets back together. Go ahead just admit it.
4. Remember Seal? Unfortunately so do I, that was a trend that I am glad died. Emphasis on “dead” here, down be the guy that go asks to hear “crazy” and sing it with the hand motions, you and number 2 boy should get along fine.
5. If M.C. Hammer comes on and you hi-five your boys, don’t feel bad when it isn’t reciprocated. I don’t think anymore needs to be said, except that dammit guys, why didn’t you tell me that M.C. Hammer was no longer cool, I can’t believe that you left me in the dark like that.

So there, I’ve done it, guys in bars looking for love? If you know these songs, just know them on the inside. Maybe go over to the D.J. slip him a fiver and get some U2, maybe some Bon Jovi, something that will allow you to raise your pint over your head and not feel ashamed.